It is a communication tool that I simultaneously love and loathe. What was once meant as a quick means of communication when an entire phone conversation was unnecessary, the text message has now taken on a life of its own and is ruining dating and people’s basic ability to communicate.While I obviously appreciate the ease of e-mail and texting, I find myself longing for actual telephone conversation these days, particularly in the context of dating. What happened to men calling women they liked for dates?
I’ve seen it all in terms of these slack methods of communication. I’ve been asked on a date by text, and I’ve been broken up with by e-mail. I’ve had text message booty calls and e-mail responses to important voice messages that really required telephone interaction.
What really gets to me is how texting, at least as it applies to dating, has become a way for men to show interest and initiate hanging out with no more effort than moving his thumbs. Granted by removing the interaction necessary for a phone call, he is able to severely limit the possibility of rejection; however, it also removes the romance and intimacy that only face-to-face and phone contact bring.
One of my girlfriends gets fired up when men text her instead of calling, so I asked for her opinion when thinking about this topic. Within minutes of sending her an e-mail, she was able to rattle off several pages of text message grievances, examples included. She said, “[Texting is] non-confrontational and I think it hinders people skills. What's wrong with getting nervous and/or excited, with the possibility of failure, to interacting with a person!”
It’s true that texting allows you to say just the right thing or have time to craft a perfectly witty reply to my every comment, but as my friend said so eloquently in her e-mail, “Life is not always going to allow for minutes on end to think of the perfect response.”
She mentioned a story where she was hanging out at a friend’s house, and the guy she liked at the time was also there. He made no effort during the party to talk to her, so, frustrated, she left. Moments after leaving, he sent her a text asking why she left because he wanted to hang out with her, although obviously not that much or he would have made the effort while she was in the same room with him.
So unless you want me to think that you’re an adolescent girl instead of the real man you claim to be, skip the texts, e-mails and g-chatting and pick up the phone to call me. It will get you further every time.
JLH
